She Loved An Angel
by thefabulousanonymous
Summary: Just my thoughts on Yaya's feelings after the Etoile elections. One-sided YayaxHikari and mentions of HikarixAmane.


**A.N: I forgot that I wrote this after watching _Strawberry Panic_. xD Also, I forgot what was I supposed to do with this though I thought this could be a oneshot. :D Anyways, the story happened some time after Hikari and Amane won the etoile elections.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Strawberry Panic but the g****rammar mistakes here are mine.**

**So, uhh, enjoy.  
**

* * *

_How long has it been …_

_since the last time she smiled at me?_

_Right. I don't know. After that day, she is always beside… she's always with… _

I swallowed the invisible lump in my throat.

_What am I even doing here?_

My eyes scanned the place… the place where I met the most beautiful angel, a blonde angel whom I fell for. An angel who wasn't meant for me.

Then, her face flickered at the back of my mind. She's…

_I can see the look on her face and her eyes._

They were full of disbelief… hurt… and betrayal. I clenched my fist and leaned back against the wall of the cathedral. I was trying so hard to stop my tears.

_I just can't seem to forget her reaction._

I was so stupid. If only I controlled myself, it wouldn't have happened.

_I hurt her because of my selfishness that time._

But, the angel still forgave me. She still accepted me after what I'd done to her. She told me that we'll always be best friends.

_Best friends… yeah._

I chuckled. I didn't even realize that my tears were already falling. And before I knew it, my knees gave out and I slumped down on the grassy floor, sobbing like I lost my love.

_Because I did._

I felt a crack in my heart once again. I tried to pull myself together. The tears stopped, but the pain that I felt in my chest lingered.

_I know that she will only see me as her best friend._

_But I never… I can't stop myself from loving her._

_I just can't let her go._

* * *

**Y.Y**

* * *

A week after my little break down, I still haven't had the chance to have a real talk with Hikari. She has been so busy already, being the new etoile along with someone she loves. I wanted to know how she was or tease her about being the etoile.

_Or maybe I just want to fulfill my_ _duties as her best friend._

The classes ended early today so I had nothing to do but go straight to Strawberry Dorms. Since there were no other students around yet, I sluggishly walked towards _our_ room. When I reached the door knob, I smiled to myself. Because, really, she's always in my mind. Now, I was hoping for her to be on the other side of the door, waiting for me.

I sighed and twisted the knob. I walked inside with my head down.

"Yaya-chan." _That soft, heavenly voice…_

I immediately lifted my head up. And there she was, sitting on her bed.

"Hikari." Surprise was evident in my voice.

"Ah. I mean Etoile-sama." I bit my tongue; a little teasing surely wouldn't hurt.

"Mou. Yaya-chan can still call me Hikari. We're best friends after all." _There it is again._

The way she blushed meant that she's still not used to being called the Etoile.

"Hai, hai, Hikari. I was just teasing you."

Sometime along the silence, I found myself sitting on my bed and staring at her. She's still as beautiful as the time when I first met her. Her blonde hair looked so silky that I wanted to thread my hands in them.

_Do I not deserve her?_

_I will always ask myself that whenever I gaze at her._

The movement of her lips snapped me out of my reverie.

"…Yaya-chan?" _Crap. I lost myself._

"E-eh?" I blinked at her.

"Are you alright? Yaya-chan seemed to be in deep thoughts." _That's because your beauty is distracting me._

I sighed to myself but smiled at her nonetheless. "I'm fine, Hikari. But, uhh… what is it you're asking just now?"

"How are you, Yaya-chan?" She looked straight at me. Her eyes were as gentle as they were before.

"I'm doing alright. How about Hikari?" I faux grinned at her.

"I'm sorry for being so busy, Yaya-chan. I know we haven't had a chance to talk like this for a long time." She bowed her head apologetically.

"Don't be sorry, Hikari. I know how busy being an Etoile is, as what I've seen with Shizuma-sama." I encouraged her to look at me. She really is a sweet and honest girl.

"B-but…"

"Now, stop with that 'buts'. Tell me, how are you and Amane-san?" I forced myself to sound casual. I hoped that I sound cheerful enough to her. It's getting harder and harder to stop my emotions from showing, especially when we talk about the two of them.

"Yaya-chan…" _I think I gave myself away. For the first time, she looked like she can see through me._

"Hmm?" I couldn't speak. Did my eyes betray me? Hikari looked like she… like she feels sorry for me. Just the thought of her looking at me that way hurts me.

"Yaya-chan should stop pretending." _No. I can't show Hikari how much pain I'm in, not when she's already happy. Not when I already hurt her before._

"Pretending? I'm not, Hikari. I'm just asking about you two. I mean, how are the things between you two, now that you are elected as Etoiles? I can see that the both of you are very busy so I thought that maybe I can cheer you up from the stress of working so hard by talking about her because I know just how much you like her. And, you shouldn't strain yourself so much from your responsibilities, Hikari." I crossed my arms to my chest and chose to act dumb. I was too busy ranting that I didn't notice Hikari was walking towards me.

"And, when are you going back to the Saintly Chorus practices…" Before I knew it, Hikari pulled me up to her. She's hugging me with her face buried on my chest. I noticed that her grip is tight.

"Hikari…" I honestly don't know what to do. I was talking because I don't want to worry her.

I gulped when her grip tightened even more.

"Yaya-chan doesn't need to pretend around me anymore." _What? Can she really …?_

"W-what do you mean, Hikari?" I faked a chuckle at her.

"I don't want to see you hurting." My eyes widened at her words. I felt my eyes water. Did I become too transparent to her just now?

She lifted her head up to look at me. I couldn't speak when our eyes locked.

"Because you're hurting me too, Yaya-chan. I don't want to be the reason that you're feeling like that. You're my only best friend." She's crying. I bit my lip and looked away.

_I made her cry again._

I was crying so freely now. I couldn't stop the tears from continuously falling. I broke her grip on me and stepped back a little. My shoulders were shaking because I was still trying to stop my sobbing. Hikari stood before me.

That was the first time that I let Hikari see me being so vulnerable.

"Yaya-chan…" She took a step towards me and reached out her hand. I was still looking away from her.

"Gomene, Hikari. Hontoni gomenasai." This time I willed myself to look at her. Even if my vision was blurry, her face and my feelings were still so clear to me.

"I just can't stop loving you, Hikari. I… even from far away… I can't. I'm sorry that I caused you pain again."

_Someday. Maybe someday, I will learn how to let go of these feelings._

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**_End?_**

**_Do they seem a bit OOC? If they did, I'm sorry because like I said, this was written a while while ago._**

**_Haha. Anyways, thanks for reading._**


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